Growing up, we all have heroes. It comes as a surprise to some that my childhood hero was Mr. Spock – from the original Star Trek series. But people who really know me nod their head and mutter “Saw that coming!”
Mr. Spock was the epitome of rationalism and logic. And that’s what I loved. I wanted to figure things out. I wanted to always be in control. I wanted to have a poker face and make a snappy comment in the middle of a crisis.
One of the problems we have when we take fictional characters as heroes is that they aren’t real people. There are consequences to behavior that we face, but which a character in a book, movie or tv series don’t have to address. Sometimes I think that is what makes these characters so compelling. They get away with the “heroic” behavior and don’t have to deal with the natural consequences like we do.
Small Side Note: Yes, Mr. Spock did have an emotional side. Finally the TV series had to show the raging emotions that flowed under his perfectly rational outer persona. But there were only a couple episodes like that.
In my case, life took its normal course. Presenting an overly rational exterior, I suppressed a lot of emotions. Stuff that made me angry or sad. I shoved it in the back of my mind and went on being rational.
As you might expect, that didn’t sit nicely forever. About the turn of the century (yes it feels weird writing those words), I could sense that emotional baggage needed to be addressed.
At that time, I turned to an organization some friends were involved with. Their mission was to work with men to integrate emotional awareness into life. They provided a set of tools for recognizing and expressing and dealing with emotions.
The two best things I got there were clear definitions of the meaning and purpose of emotions (they aren’t bad or weak) and a processing cycle called Data-Judgment-Feelings.
Over the course of several years I was pretty involved in the organization. But eventually I saw that while the tools for working with emotions were great, real transformation didn’t seem to happen. The problems men were wrestling with seemed to keep coming back over and over.
Eventually this awareness and a busy schedule caused me to leave that process and move on with my life.
But I had a strange conflict brewing. These tools were helpful for me – I couldn’t deny that. But the whole topic of emotions seemed completely removed from the domain of church – the one place where real transformation was happening.
This began a journey of exploration. I started a men’s group at my church where we experimented with blending traditional church elements with some of the tools I had learned. Specifically I focused on (re)defining emotions and how they serve us. Combined with the Data-Judgment-Feelings cycle, we got some really amazing results.
When combined with reading the Bible, these tools brought about profound insights. Proverbs 23:7 says “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he…”
In other words, the stuff going on inside us defines us. And if we leave it dark on the inside, it will continue to work on us and shape us – and we won’t be aware of it.
So with this first men’s group I developed a Bible study format that used these tools to bring clarity to what was happening on the inside. We liked to say, “We read God’s Word and God’s Word reads us.”
It was powerful. It was the result of a decade of journeying on my own – even though it seemed like it materialized out of thin air.
I could tell you more about it, but this email would become unreasonably long. However, if this has struck a curious chord in you, I did write a book to explain how you could begin to explore God’s word this way.
Emotions aren’t something to be afraid of. If you read the Bible, you’ll discover that God has emotions. We read that God is jealous and angry and loving. Jesus was indignant and even wept. We are emotional beings BECAUSE God is an emotional being.
So rather than rejecting emotions as “unreliable” or “soft”, why not embrace them and see how they reveal the state of your heart?
The book is called Devotions, Men in the Bible. It’s both a How-To book and a devotional practice book. After explaining the purpose and meaning of emotions and the Data-Judgment-Feeling cycle, it allows you to use what you’ve learned in a 30 day devotional series that looks at 30 stories of men in the Bible.
Because I’m a man and I developed these techniques for a men’s group, I looked at this process through a men’s lens…. But that doesn’t define the process. It could be used by anyone.
If you would like to explore a biblical application of your emotions, I heartily recommend the book.
Devotions – Men in the Bible
For me, this was a real explosion of fresh insight. I think it offers a lot of good practice if you want to find a new way to approach your Bible and gain insight into your own life and where you need the Holy Spirit to do his regenerative work.
I also hope you found my story helpful. It’s been a long journey – and it’s not done yet – by a long stretch. So I’ll keep telling you about it as it happens.
Blessings,
Dennis
