Men In The Bible: Small Group Study Guide (ebook)

$3.99

Men In The Bible:...
Published: April 28, 2012
Author: Dennis C Stevenson Jr

Why I wrote this book

All my adult life I’ve been in men’s groups.  I’ve been in church men’s groups as well as non-church men’s groups.  I’ve participated in groups that were exciting and impactful, and I’ve also seen it when they are as boring as reading the dictionary out loud.

Between you and me, I greatly prefer the exciting and impactful kind!

Unfortunately, the exciting and impactful men’s groups are hard to find.  Too often I found myself in a group of men who didn’t want to be there, didn’t want to change or grow, and who were content giving “the churchy answer” without looking at their own heart.  This kind of group just dragged me down.

Out of a sense of desperation, this study was born.  It created a format that I thought would be engaging, real and exciting.  My sincere prayer was that this would become the men’s group I desperately wanted to be a part of.

From the first week that a group of over 20 men gathered to participate in the inaugural meeting, the study was more than I could have imagined.  It just worked.  The men could not remain passive.  They were engaged and impacted and transformed.

I don’t want you to take my word on this.  I’ve included the stories of some of the men who participated.  They saw and felt what happened.  It was big.  It was powerful.  It left us all changed.

Over the years, I’ve gone back to this program again and again.  Each time it delivers results.  It finds a way into men’s hearts, even when they are shut down, hard and calloused.

I’m writing this book to share what I’ve found.  It is my hope that you will be inspired and challenged to try it with men around you.  I truly hope that my story will inspire you to try something new, and that this book will give you the tools you need to make it happen.

Dennis

 

 

Who is this book for?

This book is first and foremost for leaders of men’s Bible studies.  It’s a complete packaged study program that will challenge men and open their hearts.  It contains a set of tools that have demonstrated time and again their effectiveness in promoting discipleship.

This book is for your group if…

You want to build a group of men who are open and vulnerable with one another.  This study develops an atmosphere of confidence where men can say what’s really on their hearts.

You want a study that can change men’s lives without becoming overly academic.  This study engages the heart and promotes growth without rationalization.

You want a study that feels “manly” without being macho.  This study looks at kings, warriors, prophets, apostles and great men while still embracing the softer sides of a man’s character.

You want a study that extends a man’s toolbox of life skills.  This study gives men the tools to find perspective in situations and understand their own reaction to them.

You want to start a men’s group but need a little guidance on the steps.  This book will give you a plan and all the resources to make it happen.

If you’re not a leader yourself, don’t worry.  You can read this book and then share it with your leaders.  If you want to read this, then there’s probably a good bet that one of the things above is true about your men’s group.  Maybe your leaders are simply waiting for an idea like this to come along.

As you read you will find resources to help you run your own group.  You’ll also find a ready-made, battle-tested plan for preparing and running the study.  When you make it to the end, I’ll give you everything you need to get going right away!

 

 

What do men say about this study?

“[It] puts the Bible into a logical format that causes me to evaluate the Word differently. It illuminates the differences between the text I am reading, my assumptions around it, and how they tie into my feelings of that particular moment in time. This breakdown allows me to more easily discern the Word of God.”
Aaron, 31

“[It] taught me that men in the Bible dealt with the same struggles as me.  I was taught to "experience" their stories and that it was ok to bring up feelings and judgments about them - good or bad”
Jay, 42

“A very good friend invited me to a "men's Bible study" at a time that I was feeling very disconnected from camaraderie, peers, men. I also knew as a Christian husband, father, Sunday school teacher, man - I was lacking.

“Every Saturday morning I forced myself out of bed knowing I needed this. Every week I had to drive through the anxiety of "fight or flight". I knew I was broken and this might be my last chance to resolve some issues before the consequences of my actions become permanent.

“Now, after working with this group, my marriage is stronger than ever. My relationship with my children has been repaired.”
Wayne, 55

“Bible man has taught me communication techniques that actually work.  I can now analyze what's being said in a heated discussion and, if a make the choice to use these tools, analyze the words and the separate actual data from my judgments (which in most cases feel very much like data).  I have also learned to appreciate and own the very feelings that I so desperately tried to hide from others or deny that I was feeling altogether.  I have learned, and witnessed first hand, how God uses the Bible to speak specifically to me.  I now know that "The Word" truly is alive.

“In short, Bible man has changed my life and helped me to salvage the most important relationships in my life, the same relationships that I was unwittingly sabotaging prior to this study.”
Eric, 51

 

 

Introduction

 

Thanks for buying my book! 

Soon you will be ready to lead your own study.  This book will provide you with all the information and the steps to create a men’s Bible study group which:

·      Fosters openness and vulnerability

·      Doesn’t lead to knowledge for knowledge’s sake

·      Appeals to men without resorting to unhealthy stereotypes

·      Builds up men’s tools for being leaders in their own lives

After eight weeks, it’s up to you what you do next.  You could loop back and do another session of the study and build on what you’ve started.  I’ve run groups that were 8 weeks long and groups that were 16 weeks long.  Both work great! 

You could also move on to something else.  If you move on, be prepared for a deeper, more honest and connected experience than you’ve ever had before.  This study changes men and that change shows up everywhere in their lives.

Let’s talk about what’s going to come in the rest of the book.

In order to have a men’s Bible study like what I’ve been describing, you are going to need some tools.  The next section of the book will describe these tools and help you become comfortable using them.   The three tools I’ll share are:

1.    Check In

2.    Confidentiality Agreement

3.    I-Statements

See, you didn’t expect those did you?  Don’t worry; I’ll explain exactly what they are in a moment.

With new tools you will also need a process that uses these tools to maximum impact.  I have a really simple process that delivers outstanding results in terms of engagement and life change.  It will take advantage of the new tools you have, and generate results that might surprise you.  I know they routinely surprised me. 

I call this process the Data-Judgments-Feeling Process (the DJF Process). 

Sound simple?  It’s just that easy.

Once you have the tools and the process, I’ll give you a step by step plan to put all this together in your men’s group.  It’s the same plan that I’ve used over and over again.  I’m confident it will work for you like it’s worked for me.

Along the way, I will show you some resources I have developed that make the study work really well.  At the end of this book is a link for you to go to my website and download your own copies of these resources FOR FREE.  Be sure to do that.  It will save you time.

Buckle up!  This is where the fun really starts.

Your First Tool: Use Check In to set the tone

If we are going to have men’s Bible study group that gets deep and produces honesty, we need to start off creating a place where deepness and honesty is encouraged.  Just because a group of men get together, even to do something like study the Bible, that doesn’t mean that they are prepared to go deep or be honest with one another.

This first tool, called Check In, helps set a tone for your time together that says “we’re going deep.”

The basic approach to Check In is to give every man a moment to think about what is happening in his life right that moment, and share it with the group.  In order to keep things moving quickly and smoothly, we establish a real clear formula for what this will look (and sound) like.

“My name is Dennis, and I’m checking in feeling…”

There are 2 main parts to this formula.  First, by naming my name, I am helping everyone in the group get to know me.  When everyone says their name, it’s sort of like wearing a name tag – without wearing a name tag.  Even if everyone is friends, stating my name is a powerful way of owning what I’m about to say.

Secondly, the man shares one or two feelings words about what he’s feeling right at that very moment.  Talk about breaking down barriers and getting men to open up to what’s going on in their lives!

There’s a problem here.  Most men don’t know very much about feelings or emotions.  If you ask them to share what they’re feeling, they will look at you with a blank face and say nothing.

I do two things to help overcome this.  The first is that I give every man a cheat sheet so he knows what is appropriate to say.  The sheet is really a business card sized handout that gives a very brief overview of the emotions.

My card looks something like this:

 

 

It’s simple and clear.  I make enough copies to hand to every man, and keep extra for men who visit later in the process.  This little card gives every man confidence to participate in the Check In process.

A Simple Guide to Emotions

Most men don’t have a clue what emotions mean or why they have them.  They aren’t taught as boys or young men.  They have to figure it out on their own.  That’s why they end up with a very twisted concept of what emotions are and why they exist.  It generally goes something like:

·      Anger is for bullies and sports

·      Sadness and crying is for sissies.

·      Fear is a fact of life, but no one should know when it happens to me.

·      Happiness is having a good time that makes me laugh

·      Shame is supposed to be kept secret.

This is not a good basis for getting authentic and deep sharing.  We all need a new emotional framework.

We have emotions on purpose.  They are part of the Divine design.  God has emotions.  In the Bible we read about Him being angry or jealous.  Jesus displayed emotions.  He cried over Lazarus’ death, He felt compassion for the lost crowds; He made a whip and drove out the money changers in a fit of righteous fury.  Throughout Paul’s letters we are commanded to be joyful (happy) and to not let fear rule our lives.

Emotions are not a mistake or a problem – if we know what to do with them.

Here is the key point men need to understand:

Feelings or emotions provide us with feedback about what’s going on around us or inside us.  Sometimes it’s information that reinforces what we sense or perceive.  More often than not, emotions give us feedback that we have no other way of receiving.

Anger is an explosive and vigorous emotion.  It makes us feel energetic, like we have to do something to blow off steam.  That’s because the emotion of Anger says that we are blocked from getting something we want or need. 

The energy of anger is one way of preparing to take on something that is in our way.  Emotionally we know that something is blocking us, so automatically the emotion begins to build up energy to do something about it.

We can be blocked from obvious physical things, like doing something we want to do.  We can also be blocked from something intangible, such as love, or respect or attention.  Emotionally it doesn’t matter.  The emotion is the same.

Sadness has the opposite effect of anger.  Instead of being big and explosive, sadness makes us feel small.  That’s because the message Sadness communicates is that we’ve lost something. 

Rather than fighting to get that thing back (that would be anger again), sadness mourns what is gone.  This is one reason why the death of a friend or loved one is so sad.  They are gone and there is nothing we can do to bring them back.  Sadness allows us to mourn what has been lost.

Just as with anger, we can be sad over much more than the loss of our car keys.  Imagine losing the respect of your peers, or the reputation of being a particular kind of person, or even the love of your spouse.  Intangible things can create the most intense sense of sadness we will ever experience.

Fear is more like anger than sadness in that it, too, can give us a burst of energy.  But instead of knock-it-down energy, fear brings get-out-of-here energy.  That’s because fear is sending the message that we might get hurt. 

Think about “fight or flight”.  Anger powers the fight side of that equation, but fear powers flight.

Fear is not shameful.  It just reports what is going on.  It’s not a guarantee.  It doesn’t mean that we have to run.  It’s just letting us know what’s going on.  We get to decide if you want to run away or stick around. 

Think about adrenaline junkies, they let their fear power the rush that they are looking for.  I’m not saying you have to become an adrenaline junkie.  But you should be aware of what fear is telling you.

Happiness is different than the other emotions in that it doesn’t give or take energy.  It is a deep sense of contentment or satisfaction that happens when we are in alignment with the things that are important to us.

You may find happiness as you pursue a hobby that brings you satisfaction.  You might find happiness in a career that you believe in very deeply.  You might find happiness spending time with people who matter deeply to you. 

That’s just it.  Happiness just says that what you are doing matches what you believe.  Don’t be surprised if you find happiness in situations where you didn’t expect it.  That is just saying that you’re doing something that matters to you.

Shame is what we feel when we want to block ourselves off from feeling authentic emotions.  It is the message that we are broken or no good.  It really isn’t an emotion.  Sometimes it’s called the anti-emotion because it’s what we do to hide from emotions. 

Feeling broken or no good displaces authentic emotions – perhaps because we don’t want to engage with them (some feelings may be very painful).  It feels like an emotion, but it’s really a way of shielding or protecting ourselves.

Emotion Building Blocks

These five emotions are the basic building blocks of feeling.  We can combine them in different ways to come up with all sorts of combinations.  Frustration, for example, is generally a mixture of Anger and Fear.  If you think about it, you’ll find that any emotion can be broken down this way.

In order to keep things simple, the Check-In just deals with the 5 basics.  If I felt frustrated, I’d probably say I’m feeling angry – which for me is the closest building block emotion.

We can feel multiple things at the same time.  I may be feeling sad about what is happening in one part of my life and happy or glad about what is happening in another part of my life.  So I would check in feeling Sad and Happy.

There’s no real limit to how many of the five emotions we can feel at one time.  I’ve seen men choose to check in feeling all 5 of the basic building block emotions.

Trust me, when men open up the study or group checking in with their emotions, it sets the stage for a very different kind of interaction.  If you pay attention, you will notice how the energy in the room changes before and after the Check In process.

In the beginning, men will be very tied to their emotion card.  They will have to look at it to determine what they are feeling.  But eventually the process will become almost second nature, and they will be able to go through the check in process without even taking the card out of their Bible or wallet.

 

 

Look around your church.  What are the men like?

  • Are they vulnerable and relatable?
  • Are they in touch with what they feel?
  • Do they know how to open up and share effectively?

Or (if your church is like many churches)…

  • Are they emotionally shut up tight as a drum?
  • Are they oblivious to the feelings raging inside of them?
  • Do they have emotional outbursts to try and relieve the pressure building within?

If this is how the men around you show up relationally, it’s also how they show up spiritually.

Its sad, but true. Men who can’t engage their emotions in life, can’t access their emotions for God. The two just go together.

  • It’s how they worship.
  • It’s how they pray.
  • It’s how they read God’s Word.

Most men are like this because no one has shown them what to do with their God-given emotions.

They live emotionally repressed and stunted lives because they haven’t been given the tools to work with the feelings they experience. Perhaps they were taught that “feelings are weak”. Very likely someone meaningful in their life modeled a life of lacking emotion.

This is crippling in the life of a Christian because our emotions are a gift from God. They are part of the imago Dei (image of God) that we have as image-bearers.

This book provides a simple tool to teach men emotional literacy while studying the Bible.

  • Create a safe environment by modeling empowerment and vulnerability.
  • Explain the 5 emotion building-blocks and the gifts they give those who notice them.
  • Teach the Data-Judgment-Feelings framework that leads men safely into their emotions – and deep personal insights.
  • Find enough Bible passages for an 8, 12 or 16 week men’s Bible-Study
  • Follow a step-by-step model to lead a group of men on this exciting journey of discovery and awakening.

I have used this method many times and watched with joy as men discovered the tools and the truths that changed their lives forever. Marriages were saved and lives were put back on track because men suddenly learned how to experience with was happening within and hold themselves accountable.

This book is a distillation of the lessons I learned to bring this study to live over the course of multiple years and with dozens of men. I’ve broken the small-group process into a series of steps that you can follow to lead the men of your church deeper in their faith and their love of God.

Whether you want to start a new group with some of your friends, or you have an established group that needs a shot in the arm, this book will explain exactly what to do.

Get your copy today!

 

Ebooks are delivered by email through Bookfunnel. Check your email and then download or read/listen on your favorite device.

Men In The Bible:...
Published: April 28, 2012
Author: Dennis C Stevenson Jr

Why I wrote this book

All my adult life I’ve been in men’s groups.  I’ve been in church men’s groups as well as non-church men’s groups.  I’ve participated in groups that were exciting and impactful, and I’ve also seen it when they are as boring as reading the dictionary out loud.

Between you and me, I greatly prefer the exciting and impactful kind!

Unfortunately, the exciting and impactful men’s groups are hard to find.  Too often I found myself in a group of men who didn’t want to be there, didn’t want to change or grow, and who were content giving “the churchy answer” without looking at their own heart.  This kind of group just dragged me down.

Out of a sense of desperation, this study was born.  It created a format that I thought would be engaging, real and exciting.  My sincere prayer was that this would become the men’s group I desperately wanted to be a part of.

From the first week that a group of over 20 men gathered to participate in the inaugural meeting, the study was more than I could have imagined.  It just worked.  The men could not remain passive.  They were engaged and impacted and transformed.

I don’t want you to take my word on this.  I’ve included the stories of some of the men who participated.  They saw and felt what happened.  It was big.  It was powerful.  It left us all changed.

Over the years, I’ve gone back to this program again and again.  Each time it delivers results.  It finds a way into men’s hearts, even when they are shut down, hard and calloused.

I’m writing this book to share what I’ve found.  It is my hope that you will be inspired and challenged to try it with men around you.  I truly hope that my story will inspire you to try something new, and that this book will give you the tools you need to make it happen.

Dennis

 

 

Who is this book for?

This book is first and foremost for leaders of men’s Bible studies.  It’s a complete packaged study program that will challenge men and open their hearts.  It contains a set of tools that have demonstrated time and again their effectiveness in promoting discipleship.

This book is for your group if…

You want to build a group of men who are open and vulnerable with one another.  This study develops an atmosphere of confidence where men can say what’s really on their hearts.

You want a study that can change men’s lives without becoming overly academic.  This study engages the heart and promotes growth without rationalization.

You want a study that feels “manly” without being macho.  This study looks at kings, warriors, prophets, apostles and great men while still embracing the softer sides of a man’s character.

You want a study that extends a man’s toolbox of life skills.  This study gives men the tools to find perspective in situations and understand their own reaction to them.

You want to start a men’s group but need a little guidance on the steps.  This book will give you a plan and all the resources to make it happen.

If you’re not a leader yourself, don’t worry.  You can read this book and then share it with your leaders.  If you want to read this, then there’s probably a good bet that one of the things above is true about your men’s group.  Maybe your leaders are simply waiting for an idea like this to come along.

As you read you will find resources to help you run your own group.  You’ll also find a ready-made, battle-tested plan for preparing and running the study.  When you make it to the end, I’ll give you everything you need to get going right away!

 

 

What do men say about this study?

“[It] puts the Bible into a logical format that causes me to evaluate the Word differently. It illuminates the differences between the text I am reading, my assumptions around it, and how they tie into my feelings of that particular moment in time. This breakdown allows me to more easily discern the Word of God.”
Aaron, 31

“[It] taught me that men in the Bible dealt with the same struggles as me.  I was taught to "experience" their stories and that it was ok to bring up feelings and judgments about them - good or bad”
Jay, 42

“A very good friend invited me to a "men's Bible study" at a time that I was feeling very disconnected from camaraderie, peers, men. I also knew as a Christian husband, father, Sunday school teacher, man - I was lacking.

“Every Saturday morning I forced myself out of bed knowing I needed this. Every week I had to drive through the anxiety of "fight or flight". I knew I was broken and this might be my last chance to resolve some issues before the consequences of my actions become permanent.

“Now, after working with this group, my marriage is stronger than ever. My relationship with my children has been repaired.”
Wayne, 55

“Bible man has taught me communication techniques that actually work.  I can now analyze what's being said in a heated discussion and, if a make the choice to use these tools, analyze the words and the separate actual data from my judgments (which in most cases feel very much like data).  I have also learned to appreciate and own the very feelings that I so desperately tried to hide from others or deny that I was feeling altogether.  I have learned, and witnessed first hand, how God uses the Bible to speak specifically to me.  I now know that "The Word" truly is alive.

“In short, Bible man has changed my life and helped me to salvage the most important relationships in my life, the same relationships that I was unwittingly sabotaging prior to this study.”
Eric, 51

 

 

Introduction

 

Thanks for buying my book! 

Soon you will be ready to lead your own study.  This book will provide you with all the information and the steps to create a men’s Bible study group which:

·      Fosters openness and vulnerability

·      Doesn’t lead to knowledge for knowledge’s sake

·      Appeals to men without resorting to unhealthy stereotypes

·      Builds up men’s tools for being leaders in their own lives

After eight weeks, it’s up to you what you do next.  You could loop back and do another session of the study and build on what you’ve started.  I’ve run groups that were 8 weeks long and groups that were 16 weeks long.  Both work great! 

You could also move on to something else.  If you move on, be prepared for a deeper, more honest and connected experience than you’ve ever had before.  This study changes men and that change shows up everywhere in their lives.

Let’s talk about what’s going to come in the rest of the book.

In order to have a men’s Bible study like what I’ve been describing, you are going to need some tools.  The next section of the book will describe these tools and help you become comfortable using them.   The three tools I’ll share are:

1.    Check In

2.    Confidentiality Agreement

3.    I-Statements

See, you didn’t expect those did you?  Don’t worry; I’ll explain exactly what they are in a moment.

With new tools you will also need a process that uses these tools to maximum impact.  I have a really simple process that delivers outstanding results in terms of engagement and life change.  It will take advantage of the new tools you have, and generate results that might surprise you.  I know they routinely surprised me. 

I call this process the Data-Judgments-Feeling Process (the DJF Process). 

Sound simple?  It’s just that easy.

Once you have the tools and the process, I’ll give you a step by step plan to put all this together in your men’s group.  It’s the same plan that I’ve used over and over again.  I’m confident it will work for you like it’s worked for me.

Along the way, I will show you some resources I have developed that make the study work really well.  At the end of this book is a link for you to go to my website and download your own copies of these resources FOR FREE.  Be sure to do that.  It will save you time.

Buckle up!  This is where the fun really starts.

Your First Tool: Use Check In to set the tone

If we are going to have men’s Bible study group that gets deep and produces honesty, we need to start off creating a place where deepness and honesty is encouraged.  Just because a group of men get together, even to do something like study the Bible, that doesn’t mean that they are prepared to go deep or be honest with one another.

This first tool, called Check In, helps set a tone for your time together that says “we’re going deep.”

The basic approach to Check In is to give every man a moment to think about what is happening in his life right that moment, and share it with the group.  In order to keep things moving quickly and smoothly, we establish a real clear formula for what this will look (and sound) like.

“My name is Dennis, and I’m checking in feeling…”

There are 2 main parts to this formula.  First, by naming my name, I am helping everyone in the group get to know me.  When everyone says their name, it’s sort of like wearing a name tag – without wearing a name tag.  Even if everyone is friends, stating my name is a powerful way of owning what I’m about to say.

Secondly, the man shares one or two feelings words about what he’s feeling right at that very moment.  Talk about breaking down barriers and getting men to open up to what’s going on in their lives!

There’s a problem here.  Most men don’t know very much about feelings or emotions.  If you ask them to share what they’re feeling, they will look at you with a blank face and say nothing.

I do two things to help overcome this.  The first is that I give every man a cheat sheet so he knows what is appropriate to say.  The sheet is really a business card sized handout that gives a very brief overview of the emotions.

My card looks something like this:

 

 

It’s simple and clear.  I make enough copies to hand to every man, and keep extra for men who visit later in the process.  This little card gives every man confidence to participate in the Check In process.

A Simple Guide to Emotions

Most men don’t have a clue what emotions mean or why they have them.  They aren’t taught as boys or young men.  They have to figure it out on their own.  That’s why they end up with a very twisted concept of what emotions are and why they exist.  It generally goes something like:

·      Anger is for bullies and sports

·      Sadness and crying is for sissies.

·      Fear is a fact of life, but no one should know when it happens to me.

·      Happiness is having a good time that makes me laugh

·      Shame is supposed to be kept secret.

This is not a good basis for getting authentic and deep sharing.  We all need a new emotional framework.

We have emotions on purpose.  They are part of the Divine design.  God has emotions.  In the Bible we read about Him being angry or jealous.  Jesus displayed emotions.  He cried over Lazarus’ death, He felt compassion for the lost crowds; He made a whip and drove out the money changers in a fit of righteous fury.  Throughout Paul’s letters we are commanded to be joyful (happy) and to not let fear rule our lives.

Emotions are not a mistake or a problem – if we know what to do with them.

Here is the key point men need to understand:

Feelings or emotions provide us with feedback about what’s going on around us or inside us.  Sometimes it’s information that reinforces what we sense or perceive.  More often than not, emotions give us feedback that we have no other way of receiving.

Anger is an explosive and vigorous emotion.  It makes us feel energetic, like we have to do something to blow off steam.  That’s because the emotion of Anger says that we are blocked from getting something we want or need. 

The energy of anger is one way of preparing to take on something that is in our way.  Emotionally we know that something is blocking us, so automatically the emotion begins to build up energy to do something about it.

We can be blocked from obvious physical things, like doing something we want to do.  We can also be blocked from something intangible, such as love, or respect or attention.  Emotionally it doesn’t matter.  The emotion is the same.

Sadness has the opposite effect of anger.  Instead of being big and explosive, sadness makes us feel small.  That’s because the message Sadness communicates is that we’ve lost something. 

Rather than fighting to get that thing back (that would be anger again), sadness mourns what is gone.  This is one reason why the death of a friend or loved one is so sad.  They are gone and there is nothing we can do to bring them back.  Sadness allows us to mourn what has been lost.

Just as with anger, we can be sad over much more than the loss of our car keys.  Imagine losing the respect of your peers, or the reputation of being a particular kind of person, or even the love of your spouse.  Intangible things can create the most intense sense of sadness we will ever experience.

Fear is more like anger than sadness in that it, too, can give us a burst of energy.  But instead of knock-it-down energy, fear brings get-out-of-here energy.  That’s because fear is sending the message that we might get hurt. 

Think about “fight or flight”.  Anger powers the fight side of that equation, but fear powers flight.

Fear is not shameful.  It just reports what is going on.  It’s not a guarantee.  It doesn’t mean that we have to run.  It’s just letting us know what’s going on.  We get to decide if you want to run away or stick around. 

Think about adrenaline junkies, they let their fear power the rush that they are looking for.  I’m not saying you have to become an adrenaline junkie.  But you should be aware of what fear is telling you.

Happiness is different than the other emotions in that it doesn’t give or take energy.  It is a deep sense of contentment or satisfaction that happens when we are in alignment with the things that are important to us.

You may find happiness as you pursue a hobby that brings you satisfaction.  You might find happiness in a career that you believe in very deeply.  You might find happiness spending time with people who matter deeply to you. 

That’s just it.  Happiness just says that what you are doing matches what you believe.  Don’t be surprised if you find happiness in situations where you didn’t expect it.  That is just saying that you’re doing something that matters to you.

Shame is what we feel when we want to block ourselves off from feeling authentic emotions.  It is the message that we are broken or no good.  It really isn’t an emotion.  Sometimes it’s called the anti-emotion because it’s what we do to hide from emotions. 

Feeling broken or no good displaces authentic emotions – perhaps because we don’t want to engage with them (some feelings may be very painful).  It feels like an emotion, but it’s really a way of shielding or protecting ourselves.

Emotion Building Blocks

These five emotions are the basic building blocks of feeling.  We can combine them in different ways to come up with all sorts of combinations.  Frustration, for example, is generally a mixture of Anger and Fear.  If you think about it, you’ll find that any emotion can be broken down this way.

In order to keep things simple, the Check-In just deals with the 5 basics.  If I felt frustrated, I’d probably say I’m feeling angry – which for me is the closest building block emotion.

We can feel multiple things at the same time.  I may be feeling sad about what is happening in one part of my life and happy or glad about what is happening in another part of my life.  So I would check in feeling Sad and Happy.

There’s no real limit to how many of the five emotions we can feel at one time.  I’ve seen men choose to check in feeling all 5 of the basic building block emotions.

Trust me, when men open up the study or group checking in with their emotions, it sets the stage for a very different kind of interaction.  If you pay attention, you will notice how the energy in the room changes before and after the Check In process.

In the beginning, men will be very tied to their emotion card.  They will have to look at it to determine what they are feeling.  But eventually the process will become almost second nature, and they will be able to go through the check in process without even taking the card out of their Bible or wallet.

 

 

Quantity
Screen Reader:
supported
Text-To-Speech:
enabled
Enhanced Typesetting:
enabled
X-Ray:
enabled
Word Wise:
enabled
Print Length:
enabled
Lending:
enabled

Reviews

There are no reviews yet.

Be the first to review “Men In The Bible: Small Group Study Guide (ebook)”